I'm trying to install Snow Leopard retail 10.6.1(?) on my flash drive.

I converted the DMG to an ISO, my SATA is set on AHCPI or w.e, I have the flash drive as first boot device. When it boots, it just goes to a blank black screen with a flashing cursor, unable to do anything.

I also tried using iBoot, and the flash drive didn't show up.

I only have 4.7GB CD's, so USB is my only choice.

Anyone know why it's ding this, and can anyone help me? I'm a complete noob at this, willing to pay if everything works out.

Try iBoot Legacy or Nawcoms ModCd. What machine are you running? You can also try this tutorial. But its better if you can explain a little more..
Install OS X Snow Leopard from a USB flash drive | Maciverse