Recently bought a Dell 10v mini, its pretty good but im having a lot of issues with connecting an external screen.

after looking on the internet, it seems like its a pretty big problem. These are the results im getting:

1. When i close the lid with the external monitor connected, and re-open the lid, the main monitor will go black and the dell mini's lcd will go white... if i unplug the external VGA connector, it re-mains white and i have to do a hard reset (i think the actual mac crashes, rather than just the screen here)
2. The same result as above occurs if i connect the VGA while the mac is switched on. i have to shutdown, connect the cable, and restart with the cable in.
3. number (2) above only works 'some' of the time.

I have removed: (these dont ever seem to be re-generated after any number of shutdowns and restarts)
com.apple.windowserver* (from user\lib\pref\byhost and system\lib\pref)
com.apple.pref*.displays* (from user\lib\pref\byhost)

I have also tried 'MirrorDisplays' by that canas guy... but my problem is that when i connect the monitor, the system crashes... so i cant blindly enter commands. But i think only alters the windowserver files above?

my main monitor is extended desktop: 1600x1200 @ 60hz
dell mini: 1204x600

Im not sure this is a mirroring issue, i think for whatever reason, the dell's video borks out when its trying to steal maybe the resolution of the external monitor (1600x1200).

Are there any other files i can manually take a look at?

other than that, its a really nice piece of kit... but it can take upto 30minutes each day of randomly doing the above until it finally works.