ahhh my goodness gracious. I thought I had bricked my phone, however I got it eventually...unlocked and everything... I used pwnage tool to reset it then redsn0w to jailbreak, followed by an unlock with ultrasn0w, excellent great!
I did all this an hour after buying a new iphone :fail
Oh well, I'm an American living in Italy and the iphones here are factory unlocked so at least I have a forever unlocked iphone...
Thank you so very much, I probably would never have gotten it unlocked without your help.