[iTunes 7.6] - Manual management of music/video enabled!
Just checked. There is additional checkbox to in the iPhone section. After that, you can drag'n'drop music/video from itunes library. You can also access music and video in iphone and delete it. There is a copy option also, but it only copies some ID3 info I think (?). I couldn't find a way to get mp3 from iPhone into library / disk other than syncing.
I have 1.0.2, and no, so far the new version of iTunes didn't make any harm. I consider it safe.